Sunday, 24 February 2013

23/02/13 Planet Of Dinosaurs (1977)

I loved this film as a kid. Although, like most children, I was a largely useless idiot who drew energy from sherbet and E-numbers, even then I had enough awareness to realise that the acting in this film is a relentless sensory pummelling of awful.

However, it does have dinosaurs in it, and at that age, that's all you need to make a film brilliant. Some years ago me and my brother went to see Land And Freedom, The Ken Loach film about a young Scouser who goes over to Spain to fight against fascism.
As an adult, I could appreciate the nuances of the story and found the ending very emotional and poignant. As a child I would've found it boring. If there had been a version where the fifteen minute conversation about collectivised farming had ended with a Tyrannosaurus and  a Triceratops kicking each other's balls off, I would've loved it.
Point is, if you drop dinosaurs in any old shit, pre-teen boys will love it. Hence why, I loved this film as a nipper, even with performances that could fairly be used as a litmus standard of terrible.

Also, if this film didn't have dinosaurs in it, it would just be called 'Planet'. That would be rubbish.

Anyway, in this thundering mud-baby of brilliance, a group of people are flying through space in a plastic model spaceship, it goes wrong so they get in a plastic escape cup and fall onto the dino-globe.

They then spend about 80% of the film walking, occasionally stopping to forget their dialogue and battle with some amusing stop motion plasticine lizards who have trouble retaining size continuity from shot to shot.

The effects are actually not too shabby here and there and it looks like the sculpting of the creatures was the only part of the film where any money and effort was expended.

If nothing else, it's worth seeing for the range of moustaches involved and the acting.



"Oi, Sutcliffe, no full beards allowed!"

"You heard the man, fuck off! You beardy prick!"

"Yeah, beardface!"

The ever popular 1977 computer game: Moustache Farm.

30th anniversary edition? It merits that? Fuck me.


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