Tuesday, 25 August 2015

21/08/15 The Detective (1968)

The trivia about this film is that it was based on a book, the sequel to the book was the one that Die Hard was an adaptation of. Due to some contract law or something, Frank Sinatra, the star of this, had to be given first refusal to play John McClaine when Die Hard went into production.

I was going to say how different a film that would be, but thinking about it, seeing a septuagenarian in a vest leap off a skyscraper using a firehose bungee might actually have been magnificent.

Hans Gruber "Go and get McClaine!"

Henchman "How do we find him?"

Hans Gruber "Follow the trail of Werther's Originals wrappers. And piss."

Henchman "He's stealthy, Hans. Those carpet slippers make him almost silent!"

Hans Gruber "The creak of his hip will always give him away if he's close. Or place a bus stop somewhere in the building, people of his age seem to be magnitised to them."

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaanyway, when the film's doing the investigative, policey stuff, it's pretty good, when it's droning on about Sinatra's marriage, it's boring. Also, it's possibly the only time you'll ever hear Ol' Blue Eyes say the words 'semen stains'.*

*Apart from his little known 1958 album 'The Mrs Is At Bingo, Break Out The Blast-Sock'.

Fucking hell, you've read this far? Well done, I would've given up ages ago. Such a load of twaddle.




  1. Glad I read that far, the Mrs at the bingo gag was hilarious! Robert Mitchum was mooted for the original development of what became Die Hard, so they were originally aiming to use it as a near enough official sequel I guess

  2. Ta! :)

    I read that a surprising amount of stuff made it into the film. I'm not much of a Willis fan, but I do think he was well cast in that. The right blend of everyman and action film tough guy.

    1. Yeah I think the main thing they changed was have the character pay a visit to his ex wife rather than his estranged daughter (thus bringing the character's age down) and I think, though don't quote me, the villains were actually terrorists in the novel, but a lot of it remains intact.

      I think Willis is an actor who really lost his way. Even now watching back his earliest starring roles straight off the back of the excellent, quirky Moonlighting, you can't fail to see what a refreshing likeable performer he was. But for the past 15 years or so all he does is look grumpy and scowl, so that he looks a bit like an angry bollock.