Apostle (2018)

I was REALLY looking forward to seeing this, the most excited I'd been for a film in quite a long while.
The trailer made it look like a strange blend of cult-worshipping oddness and action film, set on an isolated Welsh island at the turn of the 20th century.
It had Dan Stevens in the lead who had done a great job in The Stranger and, more impressively Michael Sheen, who's pretty much flippin' excellent in every role AND it was directed by Gareth Evans who had made the bonkers fun Raid films.

So, yeah, I was very excited about seeing what promised to be a Pagan western horror version of Enter the Welsh Dragon...

Sadly, it was mostly about a dull power struggle between the cult leaders and some old doris in a shack with flowers for tits.

Ho hum.

Flippin' cool poster though.

Told you.